Bye Bye Mommy-Guilt! Can I Get A Hell Yeah

Couldn't do it!

You may recall a few postings back that our lil family was gearing up for the dive into daycare.  We had done all we thought we needed to prepare, had been fortunate enough to get a spot in our desired facility and I had some awesome job opportunities lined up.  Things seemed amazingly in tune with the universe.

Until we decided that daycare just wasn’t the right fit for our family at this point.  Dun dun dun.

Like with many choices as a parent,  I found myself guilt-ridden no matter which option we took.  Am I the only Mom out there that feltguilty at the drop of a dime?!

Finding a job you love – guilty, you are abandoning your child to the care of others, missing out on his growth

Staying at home to care for baby – guilty, you are not fulfilling your ‘potential’, not bringing in dizzough

Using disposable diapers, feeding store-bought baby food, forgetting sunscreen, not using flash cards, using flash cards.

Guilty, guilty, guilty!

You know what? I say bye bye to guilt!  I’m over you!  I no longer bend the knee to your frown-inducing, brow-furrowing and overall wrinkle-causing ways.

I thought that Baby H would benefit greatly from being around the other babies and having constant socialization.  Which, at the end of the day, he definitely would.  But when it came time to actually being able to part with him at 9 months, I realized I still want this time with him.  He is still a baby and I’ll never get this time back and the time really DOES fly by.

All tired cliches aside, I felt tremendously happy and just lighter when I FINALLY came to the conclusion that:

1) I don’t need to plunge headfirst into a full-time career immediately

2) We don’t need to push Baby H to be any more independent than  he already is

3)  I’m fortunate enough that I can stay at home and spend this time with him

4)  Our family is making the decisions that are the best for us and not necessarily anybody else

But to get there the most important step was to crush the guilt.  Just destroy it.  It wasn’t making any decision-making any easier.

I realize there will be many challenges waiting for me as a SAHM (more fodder for blog posts!)  Life isn’t going to be all baking, shopping, lunches and playdates…

And I am still a strong believer in the positive aspects of daycare – we still have him on the list for when he is older.

But for right now, I just want to spend every waking moment smooshing his cheeks 🙂

And not feeling guilty about it one way or the other!

Amen.

What do you feel guilty/not guilty about? How have you coped (or not) with the guilt?

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4 Comments to “Bye Bye Mommy-Guilt! Can I Get A Hell Yeah”

  1. I love this because it really is difficult to do the balancing act, when you feel like you can’t be 100% mom and 100% worker (physically and mathematically impossible). The best way emotionally, i’ve found, is to lower the expectations I have for myself and make it day by day. Sometimes the guilt creeps in but when you see that child’s smiling face and they give you a huge hug, the guilt melts away. My kids love their daycares/pre-schools and my favorite part of the day is seeing their smiling faces and squeals of excitement when they see me to pick them up. They are happy during the day and happy in the mornings during drop offs which IS CRUCIAL for me to let go of the guilt.

  2. I hear ya! (I just stumbled upon your blog) Beautifully written. I’m a stay at home mom, and I’ve struggled with the thought of daycare for my son. Nice to see that there are many of us out there who feel the same. Your son is adorable by the way!

  3. Sometimes I feel guilty about feeling guilty. The more I say the word guilty, the more abstract the word sounds and the more difficult it is to say.

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